Love Me Dead
by Chocolate Flavoured Robots
Summary: *On hiatus!* Near is using his body as payment around the orphanage to maintain his number one spot. What happens when Mello finds out about Near's little escort service? BDSM, rape, lemon, crossdressing.. And more


**A/N: ...It's just too fun playing with Near. Series named after mah favorite song by Ludo.**

**Disclaimer: Death Note. Not mine. None of the songs associated with this story are mine either. They belong to their respected owners.**

_Love Me Dead_

~ChocolateFlavouredRobots

"Ahh.." I purposely out a small moan. My eyes drifted behind myself and gazed at the figure pounding into me clumsily; over and over again, so eagerly like a dog with a bone. It was pathetic. I let out another moan, then another. To someone with real common sense, you could easily decipher that I was feigning pleasure. The big oaf was too stupid- or perhaps too preoccupied- to notice that. His words were gruff and eager and his cock was fat and stubby most likely from failed attempts at shaving his pubic hair off. I bit back a bored sigh and continued moaning.

"Near baby, you seem unusually eager tonight! Is there something new about my cock that's got you excited?" He laughed, continuing to thrust hips in aimlessly, making no attempt for making this feel new to me at all. It wasn't like I haven't felt every trick in the book already, but it would've been nice if he tried. At his stupid question I groaned internally and rolled my eyes, thankful he was placed behind me and unable to see my disgusted expression.

"Yes, Jay. I-It feels really good.." My words were sour on my own tongue. I might have been a good liar but I didn't enjoy doing it. This.. Was all for a good cause though... To my benefit in the end. I gasped softly, taken out of my thoughts by the feeling of hot liquid pouring into my rectum. I swallowed hard and regained my composure, waiting for him to pull out. After he had, sighing, I got up and kissed Jay on the lips. He kissed back sloppily, forcing his tongue into my mouth which made me want to gag, then pulled back and grinned his stupid, toothy grin. He shuffled off the bed and reached into his jeans pocket, taking out a wad of cash and handing it to me.

"..."

"What's wrong Near? Take it. For your.. Efforts.. Heh.."

"You know all that I wanted from you to come of this, Jay. I'm not doing this for money."

"Y-yeah but.. Even if that's true... I think you've deserved this for screwing me for so long." I eyed the cash, not letting myself show a hint of emotion. If I took that cash, I would be considered a prostitute. It wasn't as if I wasn't already, but I had to maintain some dignity. Then again, nearly all sense of my pride and self- preservation was as non-existent as my virginity...

After a long silence, I droned out a simple and flat-out _no_, pulling on my lacy underwear I had worn for the occasion, then my oversized pyjamas over that. Exiting the room, I headed off to my next client.

--

The rest of the night went like that; 3 other clientele to please, one of which was female.. Which wasn't a huge surprise. Although mainly only the boys of Wammy's came to me, the girls still had an interest.

I headed to my room after I had finished the day's work. We did have a test tomorrow and I had to do my best... I walked into my bathroom and turned the shower on to steaming hot. I shedded my clothes once more and walked under the rushing water. Washing away the dried fluids on my body, my eyes shut closed as I tilted my head toward the shower head and savoured the feeling of water running down my face. It felt good.

_All for the sake of succeeding L..._ This thought rang through my mind relentlessly. I was giving my body to everyone who threatened my place at Wammy's House to keep my number one spot. L would be ashamed, I knew it in my heart. I_ had _to do this, though. I was the only one fit to capture Kira. I had to make sure I would be his successor, even if it meant my body being sold out to all the half-bright people I came in contact with every day.

I took the bar of soap in my hand and ran it over my skin slowly, scrubbing at the bruises and physical scars; it felt soothing but it stung a bit. I held back tears. I would never allow myself to show any genuine emotion. Never in public and never to myself. This cold being.. Is what I would become... Soon enough, all emotion would fade from my existence. Maybe then I could suppress my feelings. Maybe then I could live without reminding myself what I was doing was underhanded and stupid.. I couldn't stop. Not now. My clientele had too much dirt on me. I could never stop my service. Even if I wanted to.

--

Mello unwrapped a new bar of chocolate, taking in its sweet scent. He licked it and stared lazily at the almost-dead lump in the corner of his room. Matt was fast asleep on a disfigured purple beanbag and snoring like what Mello so affectionately called, 'a fuckin' banshee'. His gaze floated toward the digital clock on his nightstand. 7:15 AM. The orphanage would be awake soon. He got up and smiled. Another day of menacing the place sounded fun at the moment. Opening his bedroom door, he stuck his head out of his door, looking left and right. He thought he caught a blur of white dashing into a random room out of the corner of his eye but shortly shrugged it off. It's not like he would have cared either way.

--

I ran into the supply closet. It was an instinct of mine to avoid confrontation and Mello screamed just that. The children of the orphanage tended not to speak to me as I wished because they did not want to annoy or harm their play-toy.. Most days I was being called in 5 different directions to.. Ugh, _service _them, and I would choose the one highest in test scores. I knew it was my body fueling the competition between everyone, not the title of L. It was sickening to me.

I slid my back down the door of the closet and sighed inaudibly out of relief. Though the children seemed strangely calm, I knew something bad was going to happen today. It was bound to. I opened the closet and rolled my at the sudden appearance of a certain red-headed boy. _Hello, something bad._

"I need your help." Matt took me by my wrist before I had time to protest and dragged me along to his bedroom. He pushed me in and shut the door. He lifted his goggles and stared at me with a serious expression. I blushed a bit. Underneath that eye wear of his, Matt was a handsome boy.

"What do you want from me?" I droned out apathetically. Showing emotion would do nobody good. Matt simply smiled at me. It wasn't a charming one or a sweet one, but rather one I had seen a thousand times before.

"Linda told me about your escort service."

_Pervert._

I had this coming. That girl had a mouth that could run like a motorboat and she was one of my most regular customers, so no doubt she'd blab and the word had spread to Matt. The gamer pressed me up against the nearest wall. His fingers ventured up my shirt and I let out a soft moan. I was certain my face was red by now. Matt began to suck on my neck and undo my shirt's buttons from the inside of it.

"I want you, Near."

_So did everyone else in the orphanage._

I sighed internally and shut my eyes. I let out another moan, kicking myself mentally. I tried to calm myself. I decided that if Matt got pissed at me, he would stop. And Matt was only third.. He wasn't smart enough to think of anything in the heat of the moment to threaten me with, right?

"Matt.. Please stop.."

Right?

"...You'll do as I say or I'll tell Roger _and_ Mello."

Wrong.

I pushed my lips against Matt's. I might as well fake this as well as I could.. Matt smirked against the kiss, amused, and finished with my shirt's buttons. He began groping my chest. Already he was doing better than most of the other twenty-something students in Wammy's House, I could tell you that. A whimper from my lips, an approving grunt from his.

Matt pulled off his shirt. I took this opportunity to sit down on his bed. It was softer than the other mattresses in the house, yet crowded with clutter. Whatever. I'd done it on worse.

The boy practically jumped on me. He rand his tongue down my torso, smiling up at me. I responded as a person would.. With a shy look and a small whimper. Genuine emotion was dead to me. Closing my eyes, I tried to space out as I let the boy do as he pleased to my body. For the next twenty minutes, I drifted in and out of consciousness. I vaguely caught snippets of the encounter with Matt. All I heard were things I've heard a thousand times before.

"I've always wanted you like this.."

"You're so tight.."

"Ahhh.."

It was no use. My vocal chords and my body against my real thoughts were like two completely different people. It is one's own natural reaction to respond positively to sex or any type of sexual stimulation. Me, I was used to it. Nothing made me mentally aroused, just physically. Which wasn't terrible. I am accustomed to these types of things. Nothing different.. It was never anything different.

--

Matt sighed happily, sitting up on the edge of his bed. He took a cigarette from his nightstand along with a lighter. Lighting the cigarette, the boy blew the smoke in a direction opposite from me. Matt was only 13, so I mused for a bit where he had gotten the cigarettes from. It was rumored Matt had.. "Connections", though. I didn't question the subject father.

Content green eyes studied at me, a pale and panting boy, naked on his bed, covered in his body fluids. He leaned over after a while and kissed me. His lips tasted like nicotine, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. I began to reach for my clothes, but Matt stopped me by grabbing my wrist in his still-gloved hand.

"Let's do this again.." I nodded. I didn't have a choice. I don't often do. "...In an hour." An hour? This boy was eager.

"Why so early?"

"Like I said Near, I want you."

I nodded again and repeated his words as somewhat of a promise. "In an hour."

* * *

**A/N: FIRST CHAPTER DONE. Well, that was hot. Am I the only one who senses something happening between the albino and the gamer? Well, at least something one sided? Anyway, I'll explain the whole thing with Mello and Near's situation in the next chapter~! I hope I haven't kept my readers waiting for too long.. I'll try not to give up on this series. I'll need convincing though..**

**And yes, I am done with the review whoring. Let me know if it worked.**

**Mello: *snorts* You failed at the whoring. You'll probably only get a few half-hearted reviews.**

**SHUT UP, MELLO. D8**

**Mello: No.**

**...If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go frantically write about Mello in a Victorian-Style dress in Times Square in New York during New Year's Eve.**

**Mello: W-WHAT?! I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN IT.**

**Liar. Now please help me prove Mello wrong. Reviews, faves, and alerts please?**


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